Lately I've been thinking more about myself in terms of how I approach my interests.  For varying reasons, my gaming has become more and more sporadic, and have been finding myself in a consistent mood for JRPGs.  I may not find them the most well executed games most often, but they've been the most enjoyable for what I've been looking for.

On the daily life side of things, programming has been something I do because I like the way I'm able to create with it, and how I'm able to solve problems.  There's a sense of satisfaction that comes from, say, adding a new feature to The VG Press, or cutting a two hour job down to a two minute one with a clever script.

SteelAttack sparked the thoughts with this post,

SteelAttack said:

What pains me to an extent is watching people like you guys, who I have grown to care about and appreciate, get somewhat worked up because of statements like these, giving them credence when they don't deserve it, and generally considering them journalists just because they happen to write about games.

By focusing on the conviction of our responses, it highlighted how little conviction I really had.  Videogames, more than ever, have become a source of relaxation.  I've come to have more passion about the community than the games, because that's where the energy is.

In programming, there is a consistent theme of how programmers have to be passionate about their trade.  If you're not passionate about programming, you need to get out of the field!  It's no an uncommon train of thought, that it has to be your world to succeed.

Simply put, though, I don't want passion.  I've had problems with stress for a long time.  Pressure situations, though I don't think it translates to outward appearance, are too much.  I burned out on chess in the same way, and simply put, it doesn't make you any better.  You can have all the passion in the world for programming and still be a lousy employee; you can love games more than anyone and still be miserable to be around; you can dedicate your life to one cause and get absolutely no where.

Giving an honest effort, certainly.  But I find I'm doing just fine with laid back old me.  I don't think I have many detractors at The VG Press, I can still be as happy as ever playing Sakura Wars, and I seem to be getting pretty consistent praise at work for doing what I considered par the course.  Passion?  I passionately deny it.