To celebrate our 10 year anniversary I think it's only fair that we do the exact same thing every video game magazine did whenever they reached a milestone... create a top 100 list. So that's what I'm going to do. I've spent the last couple weeks thinking this over and I have a list in front of me that I'm pretty happy with. No one else on earth will be happy with it, but as I always say, "fuck off it's my list and I don't give two shits what you think you little pissant." At least I think I say that.
Also, if you recall I did do a top 28 list a while back. However, that was 5 years ago and many great games have come out since, so even that top 28 has some changes in it. There's a few new games, a few games my opinions have changed on, and there was one really great one that I completely overlooked somehow when I made the list the first time. So rest assured there will be some very noticeable changes.
And it's going to go by fast. Since I've got that new job starting in just over a week, my free time may be reduced, so I'm going to try to get all 100 games posted within the next two weeks. I need to sharpen up my writing since this is a PR job so it's good practice. Writing about insurance benefits and filing medical claims is just like video games right?
100Sonic Adventure
99Kaboom
98Conquests of the Longbow
97Streets of Rage 2
96Lollipop Chainsaw
95Bloodborne
94 Crazy Taxi
93Bit.Trip.Beat
92Wii Ski & Snowboard
91RiverCity Ransom
90Dragon Quest Monsters
89Jones in the Fastlane
88Dark Cloud 2
87Professor Layton and the Curious Village
86MadWorld
85Marvel Vs. Capcom 2
84Torneko the Last Hope
83Crystal Castles
82Space Harrier
81Retro Game Challenge
80Final Fantasy VII
79Bulletstorm
78Rayman Legends
77Super Dodge Ball
76World of Goo
75The Magic of Scherazade
74Minecraft
73Fantasy Zone 2
72Golden Axe: Revege of Death Adder
71Final Fantasy Legend II
70Hotel Dusk
69Splatoon
68Pitfall
67Dragon Quest V
66SteamWorld Dig
65Street Fighter 3: Third Strike
64Order Up
63Hearthstone
62Monkey Island II: LeChuck's Revenge
61Bayonetta
60Galaga
59 Earthbound
58Super Mario Bros.
57Wii Sports Resort
56Pac-Man CE: DX
55Trauma Team
very much so. I too thought he'd be all over it.#16. Mother 3
For fuck's sake Nintendo, bring this game to the West already. Mother 3 is one of the greatest jRPGs of all time, and arguably the greatest game that's never gotten a proper Western release. Fortunately a number of talented people, including game and anime translator Clyde "Tomato" Mandelin, translated the game and made it available. When I first heard about it, it was on a best games of the 2000's list on Destructiod, and the writer ranked it #3. I called bullshit, thinking it was just a controversial addition to mix up the list, but once I played it I realized I was completely wrong. This is a brilliant game.
The story hits with some interesting themes about the nature of happiness, and gets pretty tragic at times. The game's tagline of, "no crying until the end" isn't just talk. It's got some pretty heavy stuff for a GBA game. But it's a Mother game so there's plenty of lightheartedness and straight up weirdness to help keep things balanced. That said, as weird as the game gets at times it always seems to make sense, which isn't something I can say for its predecessors. It can be tough to describe the game, but I'm pretty sure that if David Lynch made a video game, it would be Mother 3.
Rumors have floated around for over a decade about Nintendo translating Mother 3, with some saying it's been done for 3 years and Nintendo is just sitting on it. At this point, I doubt any of that's true so I would like to take a moment and urge everyone to get the translated patch one way or another and try it out for yourself. It's something no one should be miss out on.
I would love to add that game to my collection and never play it.
That's a horrible opinion to have, but I will say people have made their own GBA compatible cartridges with the translated game in them and sell it on Etsy. So... add away.
#15. The Binding of Isaac
I'm not sure I've ever loved a more twisted and fucked up game than The Binding of Isaac. The story starts out dark enough with a little boy escaping from his overly religious mother who believes god wants her to kill her son. And really it only goes downhill from there as Isaac fights his way (with his tears) throught their basement, the sewers, her womb, and eventually the afterlife. It's too god damned weird for words at times, but at least it kind of has cute graphics to help you forget just how truly messed up it is. Oh yes, and as an additional distraction the gameplay is absolutely god tier. It uses that classic SMASH TV system of using one controller to move the character and the other controller to aim and shoot (or buttons if you prefer). You'll find power-ups in treasure chests and occasionally shops, and they usually make you stronger, but it's not uncommon for them to actually make the gameplay more difficult. And since there's roughly half a billion different power-ups it can be kind of hard to keep track of what all of them do. Add those to the randomly generated dungeons, and a variety of mini-bosses that rotate around, each time you play you can have a drastically different experience. It makes the game very hard to put down and very easy to go back to.
What's almost as much fun as the game is other people's reactions to it. My son won't be in the same room with me as I play. My wife will keep asking me what the fuck is wrong with me when I play it. When the game came out for the Wii U a couple years ago, I actually would record myself playing it on Periscope (a random real-time video based social media app that never quite took off), and random strangers would be appauled but unable to look away when I played it. The Binding of Isaac has made for some very interesting conversations and that's something not many other games can say.
I imagine that your bowels feel just like how The Binding of Isaac looks after eating at The Olive Garden.
Honestly, after how disgusting I'd heard it supposedly was, I was expecting something much more icky.
The actual game itself was pretty great, though.
Conker's Bad Fur Day was much worse.