A couple weeks ago, I was offered another sort-of-managing position at the Hospital where I work. As some of you might know, I have been in charge of the HIV Clinic for a little over 5 years now. It's been great overall, but it has also been exceedingly demanding and tiring, both physically and mentally. I feel drained and spent day in and day out. I have to deal on a daily basis with conflict-generating, union-protected personnel, with being left alone in the trenches by the higher-ups at the state's health program, and with a couple NGOs that instead of focusing on the wellbeing of the patients, show more interest in harassing the people that work here thanks to a network of informants they have within my own ranks, even getting as far as having a few key members of our work team moved to another areas, all under the complacent view of the powers that be (they are scared shitless of bad press, of all things).

I have always told whoever is or was in charge that I was never a good option for this kind of job. I have no formal administrative background since my formation is clinic first and foremost, yet I have always given a 100% effort in order to get things working and despite what external pressure might led people to believe, I think we have achieved some key successes in our quest to offering better attention every day. Our virologic control indicators are above the national average, and our user complaints are quite low when contrasted with the amount of people we see every day, not to mention we have to work with the same amount of doctors that other centers with half or even a third of the patients we treat.

I've been asked to join the Internal Medicine ward of the hospital, as chief of staff (lol administrative position again). I immediately said yes. I would be working directly under the chief of the entire Medicine Division which is a cardiologist I deeply respect since he was a key figure during my residence years. It's a completely different work environment, not without difficulties but with a significant difference: The difficulties are always because of the lack of resources to work with and not because of the people around you. My resignation has been at the Director's desk for a week now, and they are in the process of finding a suitable replacement for me here, so it could take a few weeks more to get things sorted out. I honestly don't see myself here for another year, let alone five more because like I said earlier, it has really taken its toll on both my physical and mental wellbeing.

Other than my wife, I have few people to share this kind of stuff with so please forgive the wall of text. I think of you as close friends all the time.