Well guys. Here I am. I've been lurking this place during the last few days whenever I was in need of some distraction. Which you lot provided. You're comments and everything were a great support. I even sensed some extra strong support from down under, half a world away.
I was going to write a whole lot more. What happened, how the last few days have been. But there's little point in doing so. Here's to my baby girl, may she find the peace she lacked in her short life.
Recently Spotted:
*crickets*
Just received another blow yesterday evening. We had already been told that my wife could get pregnant again, but yesterday the gynaecologist told us that we should wait a year to let the scar on her uterus heal. So best case scenario we won't have a second kid untill our eldest is 5 and a half
He said it would probably not be a problem to try earlier on, but there is no means of evaluating just how strong the scar tissue is at any given point in time. So yeah, I don't think we'll be taking risks. But I also don't know if we'll still be up for it a year down the line.
Yeah, sorry to hear that, man.
It's good news that it should heal and you can try again. Look on it positively.
So yesterday the midwife who was with us during the labour came by for a chat and to check up on us, and she brought it up. So now my wife is pissed at me for keeping that from her, despite all my good intentions. What's even worse, the midwife said we waited about 10 minutes for this guy to arrive. 2 weeks prior, some head docter told ous that a minute more or less wouldn't have saved our daughter, we had been at least 10 minutes too late. So now my wife is adding this all up and has decided it's a medical error and she wants some personal apology from the anistestethic (sp?) and that she doesn't want to pay any bills.
I don't want this. I don't want to have to spend all this energy in rattling some cages over at the hospital. A lot of procedures were changed after what happened to us already.
I just want this to be done, so we can pour our energy in grieving for Juno...
I know you really don't want to have to think about it, but you should take those incompetent assholes for every last cent that they have. What they did was inexcusable. They really should pay. Hurt somebodies wallet, they never forget that! You'll help couples out in the long run that may have to deal with them again. Sorry.
Yes, and it'll probably help your wife to have some closure. If you don't act, it may be in the back of her mind and she may never be able to move on.
Ughhh, awful situation to be in. I know you just want to try and heal and move on, but it sounds like your wife won't be able to do so unless you pursue this. I don't know what malpractice/negligence laws are in your country, but in the US you have to show that no other doctor would have made the same mistake, and that doesn't seem to be a stretch in this case. Any good hospital administrator would recognize what happened and I think getting the bill waived won't be too hard. The apology might be harder. Doctors can be arrogant bastards so who knows. Try to bite down and muscle through it. It will be hard, but in the long run it may help you too.
It might be worth it, if you can find a lawyer on a no win no fee basis. They can do most of the legwork and you could get an apology and some cash too. Which you deserve if they really did f-up.
Completely presumptuous question knowing nothing about your wife or your relationship, but would it be easier for you (and acceptable for her) if she pursued it without your involvement? It sounds like you both need to grieve in different ways.
As you asked, British: anaesthetist, American: anesthesiologist.