5. Dr. Franken
Early Gameboy games were pretty rough. Knock-off games are rarely as good as their inspiration. So what happens when you try to make a Castlevania game starring Frankenstein for the Gameboy? Well you get this legendary piece of crud. Legendary probably isn't a fair word to describe it, since most people never played it let alone even heard of it. Basically this was Frankenstein wandering around a mansion looking for his girlfriend's body parts. Kind of like Simon's Quest really, but without the quality soundtrack. They did however nail the feature of getting lost extremely easily. Normally I'd just pass this up as a really crappy game, and never think of it again, but I was stuck on a 16 hour car ride with just this game to play and I'm still remarkably bitter about it.
In fairness, the GB Castlevania games were kind of crappy too.
robio said:See it was a giant ass step backwards for me. My next door mafia neighbor had a stand-up Ms. Pac-Man arcade unit (just don't ask how they go it). Even at 5 years old I knew this wasn't cutting it.
How did they get it?
Foolz said:robio said:See it was a giant ass step backwards for me. My next door mafia neighbor had a stand-up Ms. Pac-Man arcade unit (just don't ask how they go it). Even at 5 years old I knew this wasn't cutting it.
How did they get it?
The mafia can get anything.
Foolz said:How did they get it?
You can't follow directions worth shit.
robio said:See it was a giant ass step backwards for me. My next door mafia neighbor had a stand-up Ms. Pac-Man arcade unit (just don't ask how they go it). Even at 5 years old I knew this wasn't cutting it.
Well, see that's like judging a youngster for digging a porno mag just because you had been laid at the same age. So... I guess you are right.
edgecrusher said:The original Game Boy itself should be on the list. Piece of shit.
Go to your room.
gamingeek said:When are you doing Little Kings Story?
Time is a funny thing. It makes some games seem better than they were and other worse than they were. But in LKS's case, it's actually mellowed me out to it. I don't have it on my shit list anymore. I'd actually go back and give it a second shot if I had it.
edgecrusher said:The original Game Boy itself should be on the list. Piece of shit.
Well that's just uncalled for. Without the Gameboy we wouldn't have Pokemon Red, Link's Awakening, or Final Fantasy Legend II. That's more than enough to justify its existance.
6. Torin's Passage
Do you like Sierra Online Adventure games? Of course I do. Do you like games by Al Lowe, creator of Leisure Suit Larry? I have an extremely juvenile sense of humor, so you bet your sweet ass I do! Do you want a new game from him that will allow you to break out of the LSL universe? Fuck yes!! Well then, here's Torin's Passage, a game that if you didn't know better, you'd just assume was a tie-in from a lesser known Disney movie due to the theme and quality.
The game honestly had good intentions. Al wanted to make a funny game that parents and kids would play together, and make them laugh in different parts (kid humor and subtle adult humor). And like so many things that try to appeal to everyone, it ended up appealing to no one (kind of like that children's show Richard Pryor had in the mid 80's). Everything just felt unbalanced from the humor to the puzzles. And the story was a complete mess, as it was meant to have numerous sequels which never appeared. And while I can't prove it... I suspect this game was single handedly responsible for the adventure game crash of the mid/late 90's.
Torin's Passage is $5.99 on GOG.com, and has a user rating of 4.5 out of 5. Once again, you fail at video games, Robio. 
Ravenprose said:Torin's Passage is $5.99 on GOG.com, and has a user rating of 4.5 out of 5. Once again, you fail at video games, Robio.
If I'm wrong then its a great game at a low price so you should go out and buy it right now.
robio said:If I'm wrong then its a great game at a low price so you should go out and buy it right now.
Nah, that's the crappy DOS version. Win 95, FTW!
7. The Blues Brothers (SNES)
I'm not sure why I thought this game was going to be a good idea. I knew better from the start. I was old enough to know that licensed games were crap, particularly ones like this that had almost nothing to do with the original material. But my best friend and I were big fans of the Blues Brothers, and when I saw that the game was simultaneous two-player I figured it was worth the rent. It was wrong. I would have gotten more joy from a extra value meal at McDonalds. This was just an awful generic platformer that kept playing the Blues Brothers theme song over and over and over. All it did was crap on the memory of John Belushi. Awful hate, and worthy of all the hate you can muster.
I remember that game! Never played it, though.
Didn't know they made one for the N64. o_O
Man, I can still hear that Pac Man 2600 music in my head. Did anyone ever own the Pac Man Fever record?