| Platform | OVERALL |
|---|---|
| 3DO | 5.20 |
| Overall | 5.20 |
|
Grow Home was supposedly the PCs biggest platformer exclusive in years. Yeah it's not really a platformer. Basically you play a robot who has to ride tree penises up into the sky. The game controls like total ass on purpose, it's hard to jump, to walk, simply to make it easier for you to accidentally fall. Your main move is the ability to grab objects and climb on walls by alternating R2 and L2 which control each hand. Eventually as you discover hidden gems in the world you gain better controls and powers like a jet pack that also controls like shit but it least it gets you places faster. So the point of the game is to grow a tree upward. To do this you hop on a tree branch penis, go to the tip and get it excited so it gets a giant erection and takes you upward. You must ride a certain amount of tree penises into rock vaginas to grow the main tree to the next level of altitude. The higher you go the more complex it is to get the penii to the vaginas. In case you fall there are teleported you unlock as you travel up which serves as a warp system. The game also throws in some collectibles you can find. There are no enemies, no timer, no difficulty, you just take your time and go up. I will say the world is oddly beautiful with its blocky graphics and bright colors. The game is not bad, I played it for free and it was an enjoyable few hours. It's peaceful, relaxing, kind of took me back to the early days of 3D gaming. It's not good either, there is very little to do in this game. So play it if it looked interesting to you. |
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Posted by Dvader Mon, 07 Dec 2015 14:38:19
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Foolz (43s)
And now you're telling people to "Go Home"?