I've been far too positive lately. So in that spirit I've decided to make a list of games I hate. Games that in my mind completely and utterly suck. Now to clarify I'm not going to list games that were never meant to be anything other than functional at best. I'm here to talk about games that were meant to be good. And some people do think they're good (they're wrong). Maybe you're one of these people (and once again I want to emphasize you're wrong). But this is my list so fuck off.
So for the month of February I'm going to give you my list. One new game a day. Look forward to it and feel the hate flowing within you. And here it is in no particular order:
- Faxanadu
- Castlevania: Lords of Shadow
- Tao's Adventure: Curse of the Demon Seal
- Pac-Man (Atari 2600)
- Dr. Franken
- Torin's Passage
- Blues Brothers (SNES)
- Limbo
- X-Men (Sega Genesis)
- Harvest Moon: My Little Shop
- Child of Eden
- Herdy Gerdy
- Final Fantasy X
- Actraiser 2
- SaGa Frontier 2
- Children of Mana
- Assassin's Creed
- Burger Time: World Tour
- The Acceleration of Suguri X
- Spyro the Dragon: Enter the Dragonfly
- Impossible Mission (Atari 7800)
- The Sims
- Double Dragon (NES)
- Rhythm Heaven
- Dragon Quest Monsters: Caravan Heart
- Street Fighter
- Captain Comic (NES)
- Journey
Recently Spotted:
*crickets*
1. Faxanadu
The nicest thing I can say about Faxanadu is that it's completely bland even by NES standards. The action was boring. The story was boring. Even the color palatte of the game was boring. Green.... brown... reddish brown... greenish brown... With this much brown and green, I'm fairly sure this game was the direct inspiration for the artistic direction of most HD shooters last gen. While ugly and boring aren't necessarily grounds for hate, I'll tell you what is. The fucking password system. The "mantra" as they called it. It was 40 characters long with capital and lower case letters, numbers, and a few punction symbols. What a fucking shock that people repeatedly screwed up writing this shit down. This thing was the stuff of nightmares. This bland brown turd is a great example of why not every classic video game was really a classic.
Can you feel...the hate tonight? ....I can and I am lovin' it!
Faxanadu is awesome.
Well cogratulations, you have started out this list and are entirely wrong right from the start.
I thought this was going to be about Vader trying PSN Now.
But...but...the ointment!
It always kind of struck me as something like a Zelda 2, but in a tree. So yeah, maybe you'd like it.
Faxanadu? FAXANADU?!!
Alright, alright I concede... We all have our differences...
Afterall, not every game is a Lords of Shadow 2!