I've been far too positive lately. So in that spirit I've decided to make a list of games I hate. Games that in my mind completely and utterly suck. Now to clarify I'm not going to list games that were never meant to be anything other than functional at best. I'm here to talk about games that were meant to be good. And some people do think they're good (they're wrong). Maybe you're one of these people (and once again I want to emphasize you're wrong). But this is my list so fuck off.
So for the month of February I'm going to give you my list. One new game a day. Look forward to it and feel the hate flowing within you. And here it is in no particular order:
- Faxanadu
- Castlevania: Lords of Shadow
- Tao's Adventure: Curse of the Demon Seal
- Pac-Man (Atari 2600)
- Dr. Franken
- Torin's Passage
- Blues Brothers (SNES)
- Limbo
- X-Men (Sega Genesis)
- Harvest Moon: My Little Shop
- Child of Eden
- Herdy Gerdy
- Final Fantasy X
- Actraiser 2
- SaGa Frontier 2
- Children of Mana
- Assassin's Creed
- Burger Time: World Tour
- The Acceleration of Suguri X
- Spyro the Dragon: Enter the Dragonfly
- Impossible Mission (Atari 7800)
- The Sims
- Double Dragon (NES)
- Rhythm Heaven
- Dragon Quest Monsters: Caravan Heart
- Street Fighter
- Captain Comic (NES)
- Journey
Recently Spotted:
*crickets*
21. Impossible Mission (Atari 7800)
Impossible Mission was pitched as the killer app for the Atari 7800. It was featured in all of their commercials. It was given prominant ads. It was the reason to own an Atari 7800. It really wasn't all that, but it was still a solid game, and when I hung out with the one kid in the neighborhood who had a 7800 instead of a NES, we'd play this and enjoy it... until we'd get frustrated and quit. The problem with the game is that it was literally impossible to beat due to a bug. A puzzle piece you needed was impossible to reach, so no matter what you did, you couldn't get it. Therefore you couldn't complete the game. Great... all those hours we spent thinking we sucked were wasted. Hard to believe a company that believed in quality as much as Atari would do this, huh?
Uh, it's called "Impossible Mission", what did you expect?
Come on man, that joke was made almost 30 years ago. You can do better. Just because I don't try in this thread, doesn't mean you have to sink to my level.
22. The Sims
I can't figure out what's good about this game. It's like you're playing god, but your dominion is exclusively populated by morons who won't do what you tell them to do. If I want that, I can order an ant farm. I really feel like I should have liked it though, since I liked so many of the other sim games. So I gave it mulitple tries, but each of those tries just made me more and more disenfranchised until I got to the point where I hated this game. Feh.
Not all of us are old enough to know that a joke was made 30 years ago.
I've had The Sims installed on every PC I've owned since it first came out. I still play it from time-to-time. It's a classic sandbox game. Build mode was my favorite part, but torturing Sims was always fun too.
What's better than taking the stair out of a swimming pool while a sim is in there? Or leaving one of them inside a doorless, windowless room with no place to go?
23. Double Dragon (NES)
Ahhhh who doesn't love Double Dragon right? The game that introduced us to co-op beat'em ups. Being able to fight side by side with you best friend, right up until the end when you had to fight each other to see who gets the girl. What a great game! And now it's coming to the NES? Holy crap this is fantastic! It's 2-player???? What could go wrong??? .... it doesn't offer co-op? It's an alternating 2-player game... And we're done here.
Thank you! How could they have screwed up so badly in Double Dragon? That game was a huge frustrating mess.
I have no idea. I loved Double Dragon. My guess is that it was a classic example of a port that was rushed to the market. It was the first arcade game I ever beat so when I saw it was coming to the NES I was stoked. Then I saw the description in Nintendo Power and something looked very very wrong.