I've been far too positive lately. So in that spirit I've decided to make a list of games I hate. Games that in my mind completely and utterly suck. Now to clarify I'm not going to list games that were never meant to be anything other than functional at best. I'm here to talk about games that were meant to be good. And some people do think they're good (they're wrong). Maybe you're one of these people (and once again I want to emphasize you're wrong). But this is my list so fuck off.
So for the month of February I'm going to give you my list. One new game a day. Look forward to it and feel the hate flowing within you. And here it is in no particular order:
- Faxanadu
- Castlevania: Lords of Shadow
- Tao's Adventure: Curse of the Demon Seal
- Pac-Man (Atari 2600)
- Dr. Franken
- Torin's Passage
- Blues Brothers (SNES)
- Limbo
- X-Men (Sega Genesis)
- Harvest Moon: My Little Shop
- Child of Eden
- Herdy Gerdy
- Final Fantasy X
- Actraiser 2
- SaGa Frontier 2
- Children of Mana
- Assassin's Creed
- Burger Time: World Tour
- The Acceleration of Suguri X
- Spyro the Dragon: Enter the Dragonfly
- Impossible Mission (Atari 7800)
- The Sims
- Double Dragon (NES)
- Rhythm Heaven
- Dragon Quest Monsters: Caravan Heart
- Street Fighter
- Captain Comic (NES)
- Journey
Recently Spotted:
*crickets*
Wanna know something hilarous? I had the Atari 2600 version of Double Dragon, and . . .
. . . it had two-player simultaneous gameplay.
And it was a surprisingly decent version of the game too.
Oh wow, I never even knew there was a 2600 version. That looks terrible. Well, if it was two player then it had a leg up on the NES version. I did play the 7800 version of Double Dragon with my friend who I mentioned in the Impossible Mission post. Once again, not a great looking game, but it had the co-op and got the job done.
It did however, have some really sweet box art.
I prefer the red Atari 2600 box art:
Those box covers are awesome. I want to buy the arcade version for the 3DS. I sunk many quarters into that machine back in the day.
"Warriors, come out and play."
Watch out for Abobo's death grip or he'll toss you like a dinner salad?
That sounds faintly erotic.
I remember the good ole days when tossing a salad only meant mixing lettuce with the dressing and the other ingredients. Now I can't even say the phrase without cracking a smile.
I always forget Insomniac made Spyro....so Spyro was kind of like the spiritual start of Ratchet & Clank. I should try those old Spyro games sometime. I rmember playing the demo for the first game, thinking it looked and played great for a platformer on PS1, but then I never picked them up.
24. Rhythm Heaven
This game is discriminatory against the differently abled. Not all of us have rhythm. Is that our fault? Nope. And yet this game exists and mocks us for it. You and Rush Limbaugh can go ahead and play this, but be aware that this game is in and of itself is a hate crime. It's a horrible thing really, and I won't stand for it.