It hurts so bloody much. For two weeks to be made to feel like Fred Astaire. To have hopes, even dreams for a life less lonely ... for an existence less futile.
Then to be told in no uncertain terms that you can never be more than "just friends".
It hurts so much, to want something so bad, something you can never have.
PS Sorry to be heavy.
Recently Spotted:
SupremeAC (3m)
...and I'll even leave my clothes on!
Oh, what the hell, take it off. Big, sweaty, naked men hug from us all, Bugs.
I know the feeling. I feel for you, you will get through it in time. We are here for you.
Hang in there, Bugs.
Take care.
Steel put it best.
Thank you guys so much. This means a lot to me. Aspro, Yoda, Steel, Leo, Travo, Vader, Ask, Foolz thank you from the depths of my shattered and black heart.
Steel thank you for your kind and endearing words. It's hard at this time to feel as anything other than a worthless piece of shit after bearing one's soul completely and offering all I had, and being rejected like that. It wasn't so much that I was actively lead on, as much as being left to hope (perhaps out of pity). It's not a case of a broken ego, which will heal in time, as I try to keep those feelings in check. It's the loving and losing, or better in my case, the loving and not being able to have ... ever. The knowing that my feelings will never be reciprocated but will never cease or change.
Aspro I am an emotionally tortured misanthrope as well, and a cynical bastard 99% of the time and that is another reason why this knocked me for six.
Once again thank you all for your support. Your words are giving me strength to face another day in the world (even though right now i'd rather die). Hope I can maintain my composure at work. Crying in front of a class of students is not a humiliation I can live with.
Work can provide the solace of distraction, go into it with that in mind.
And get back on the horse.