I've been far too positive lately. So in that spirit I've decided to make a list of games I hate. Games that in my mind completely and utterly suck. Now to clarify I'm not going to list games that were never meant to be anything other than functional at best. I'm here to talk about games that were meant to be good. And some people do think they're good (they're wrong). Maybe you're one of these people (and once again I want to emphasize you're wrong). But this is my list so fuck off.
So for the month of February I'm going to give you my list. One new game a day. Look forward to it and feel the hate flowing within you. And here it is in no particular order:
- Faxanadu
- Castlevania: Lords of Shadow
- Tao's Adventure: Curse of the Demon Seal
- Pac-Man (Atari 2600)
- Dr. Franken
- Torin's Passage
- Blues Brothers (SNES)
- Limbo
- X-Men (Sega Genesis)
- Harvest Moon: My Little Shop
- Child of Eden
- Herdy Gerdy
- Final Fantasy X
- Actraiser 2
- SaGa Frontier 2
- Children of Mana
- Assassin's Creed
- Burger Time: World Tour
- The Acceleration of Suguri X
- Spyro the Dragon: Enter the Dragonfly
- Impossible Mission (Atari 7800)
- The Sims
- Double Dragon (NES)
- Rhythm Heaven
- Dragon Quest Monsters: Caravan Heart
- Street Fighter
- Captain Comic (NES)
- Journey
Recently Spotted:
*crickets*
5. Dr. Franken
Early Gameboy games were pretty rough. Knock-off games are rarely as good as their inspiration. So what happens when you try to make a Castlevania game starring Frankenstein for the Gameboy? Well you get this legendary piece of crud. Legendary probably isn't a fair word to describe it, since most people never played it let alone even heard of it. Basically this was Frankenstein wandering around a mansion looking for his girlfriend's body parts. Kind of like Simon's Quest really, but without the quality soundtrack. They did however nail the feature of getting lost extremely easily. Normally I'd just pass this up as a really crappy game, and never think of it again, but I was stuck on a 16 hour car ride with just this game to play and I'm still remarkably bitter about it.
In fairness, the GB Castlevania games were kind of crappy too.
How did they get it?
The mafia can get anything.
You can't follow directions worth shit.
Well, see that's like judging a youngster for digging a porno mag just because you had been laid at the same age. So... I guess you are right.
Go to your room.